Conspiracy Theory – Robocop was the messiah

Robocop! A walking tank of justice, ready to apply cutting edge science to your face if you dare to break a prime directive! But what if Robocop was more than just a lean mean, law-enforcing machine? What if he was actually…Jesus?

 

The Movie

Officer Alex Murphy finds himself gunned down by a vicious gang of thieves and murderers, only to be brought back to life as an unstoppable fusion of machine and the fleshy bits of him that survived. Now known as Robocop, Murphy protects and serves the public while attempting to fathom the mystery of his own death.

The Theory

He’s the American version of Jesus. Just with more guns, cybernetics and Peter Wellerness. Just take a look at the scene where he suffers his first death. First, he gets laid out on the ground in a crucified position, like so:

Then, he gets a nail in his hand, metaphorically and shotgun speaking:

After soaking up more bullets than a Rambo endorsed kevlar sponge, he finally gets put down with a 9mm slug to the head. Or to his crown (of thorns) if you will:

At which point he is resurrected to become the greatest action figure of all time, Robocop. Sound a bit far-fetched? How about that one scene where he’s practically walking on water?

And then of course, you’ve got director Paul Verhoeven himself confirming the entire biblical riff. “How you do [a remake] now, you’d have to go into all of the digital world, and I’m not sure that would improve the soul of the movie, you know?  The point of Robocop, of course, it is a Christ story”, Paul Verhoeven said back in 2010, regarding the upcoming remake.

 It is about a guy who gets crucified in the first 50 minutes, and then is resurrected in the next 50 minutes, and then is like the supercop of the world, but is also a Jesus figure as he walks over water at the end.  Walking over water was in the steel factory in Pittsburgh, and there was water there, and I put something just underneath the water so he could walk over the water and say that wonderful line, “I am not arresting you anymore.” Meaning, I’m going to shoot you.  And that is of course the American Jesus.

Of course, Jesus was exactly known for solving problems with a semi-automatic Desert Eagle pistol and preaching about the prime directives. Which explains why Verhoeven explained that his Robocop was the American version of Jesus.

Remember kids, he’s not the messiah, he’s a very well armed and titanium-plated man! Now give us this day our daily lead, and forgive us for those who trespass on Omnicorp property…

 

 

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About The Author

Because he's the writer that The Movies deserves, but not the one it actually needs right now. So we'll hunt him. Because he can't take it. Because he's not a hero. He's a loud-mouthed journalist, a watchful procrastinator. A dork knight.